


Your gender norms can crawl up your ass and die!

by KuraiOfAnagura



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Character, I was just its puppet, I'm Sorry, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Seriously I don't know how that happened, Stereotypes, The story kind of wrote itself, past Kenjirou/Yuri, traditional ABO dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 23:52:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17632133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuraiOfAnagura/pseuds/KuraiOfAnagura
Summary: My piece for the Yuri on Ice Omegaverse Zine Tying the Knot!My very first delve into the world of ABO! Of course I'm a wimp and wrote a non-sexual piece for the nesting zine, because, yeah, like I said, I'm a wimp x'DThe server had been a delight, thank you so much for the great memories we created!Also thank you very much SqueezeBabe for beta-ing my work and telling me that I don't suck as much as I thought I would x'DYou can download the two zines, Nesting and Knotting, here! https://yoi-omegaverse-zine.itch.io/tying-the-knot-yoi-omegaverse-zine





	Your gender norms can crawl up your ass and die!

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags.  
> Discriptions of gender dysphoria and gender identity loss will be described!

The Mystery that is Y. Plisetsky (sec. gndr. Unknown) (Figure Skater) 

We know we’re not the first article to address the hottest question that courses through the circles of winter sports, but we also know we’ll not be the last. Though that aside we think it’s time for a little compilation to gather all the evidence we have about Yuri Plisetsky’s secondary gender.

First, the facts: Yuri is freshly 19 years old and the youngest person to ever win a gold medal in a figure skating tournament that is called the Grand Prix Series (for all those who’ve no clue what we’re talking about, here’s the Wikipedia page to the Grand Prix and here’s the one on Figure Skating), which is impressive on its own, but even more so since he hadn’t presented yet by the time he’d won his first major competitions..

Our beloved kitten ( he was so cute back then, with his cat ears, don’t you think!?) finished the season with another Gold at Russian Nationals (beating THE Figure Skating Legend Victor Nikiforov(α), who’s now Plisetsky’s coach) a silver at the European Championship and a bronze medal at the World Championship; which, all in all, makes him the highest decorated skater during his debut year in figure skating history.

It had already been foreseen during the World Championship that year, that Yuri, freshly turned 16, was about to present his secondary gender soon and the fires of rumours were fed even more when he all but vanished from social media during the summer. Mind that, figure skating is a winter sport, yes, and usually during summer we don’t get that many updates from the skaters, but not posting anything at all? That had our alarm bells ringing!

And like anticipated by many, Yuri Plisetsky skipped the GP series entirely (which was probably also one of the reasons how Yuuri Katsuki (α) won gold that year and could finally tie the knot (haha) with Victor Nikiforov and creating the most Hollywood worthy queer fairytale ever witnessed!) and started late that season with crashing his country’s national championship. His coaching staff and management stated he’d liked to prepare some more for the season, due to a late training start which was caused by medical complications. Yes. Sure. It’s just… we know a thinly veiled excuse for a presentation when we see one, k?

_(Just FYI a little history lesson: Due to communism Russia and China were actually the first countries to officially put Omegas on the same status as Betas, with the good old Marxian thinking: you have hands, you can work for the motherland! Since the 1950’s country after country abolished a marking system in their official records and with 1972 Switzerland was the last first world country that made an outing of ones secondary gender (besides an medical emergency, mind that) obsolete. Of course some countries like Japan and Iceland have found loopholes for that. These days no Omega and Alpha has to ‘out’ him or herself in order to fight sexual discrimination… yet we all know what reality really looks like._

_To get back to sports: nowadays all sports except some examples like e.g. dressage are segregated by primary gender. It wasn’t always like that, yet Figure Skating has been one of the first disciplines to always differentiate between male and female and not ABO)_

 

And when he finally started his season? Dear lord, you couldn’t be further away from the Russian Fairy he’d been just one year ago!

Not only had he shot up, like, a mile! (kidding, he’s currently 1.81m), but also his hair got so long and smooth like every shampoo commercialists wet dream! Also now there’s this aura around him that only intensified with time that wants you to say: hmmh, yes please, I’d take that!

We’ll never forget that first iconic interview where a reporter (bless his soul for he was ripped to pieces) asked Yuri after his Short Program at Russian Nationals what his newly developed secondary gender was. In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a short video

 

 

[Video description: Yuri Plisetsky weaves through a throng of reporters, following his coach Yakov Feltsman and ignoring the questions around him. One middle aged reporter though plants himself directly in front of Yuri and shoves his mobile under his nose.

Reporter: Yuri Plisetsky, you started late this season due to medical complications. Was this perhaps your presentation and are you now officially an Omega?

The reporter signals clear behaviour of an Alpha talking to an Omega.

Yuri takes a step back bewildered but then his eyes blink dangerously and he’s all but attacking the reporter.

Yuri: Fuck off, Motherfucker! That is nobody’s business. You’re here to watch me skate! So shut your stupid trap and do your motherfucking job!]

 

 

And this was the first time we could witness Yuri Plisetsky devouring his favourite meal: nosey reporters!

(Which is also the reason we’d never ask him for an interview ourselves. We like being alive, thank you very much!).

This was more or less the standard answer you’d get when asking Plisetsky about his secondary gender. His second season ended with Victor Nikiforov’s retirement and the announcement to take both Yu(u)ri’s on as a coach fulltime.

Since then Plisetsky’s known for a lot of things. First and foremost of course for his skating. His rivalry with his co-Yuuri is legendary in certain circles, peaking in the dramatic showdown at Pyongchang’s Winter Olympics. He’s also the face of several commercial agenda’s, such as the animal testing free Body Shop make-up campaign or the new frosty flowery fragrance of Kenzo.

But also in terms of charity he’d started fairly young. He’s an open supporter and spokesperson for the Omegan Equality Movement, not only in Russia, but also worldwide. One would see that as a sign, but last year he’d participated in Jean-Jaques Leroy’s (α) online 24h charity event for the de-toxification of Alpha behaviour!

Which brings us to the actual topic of this article!

Since his delayed start in the season there has been absolute radio silence from the official sources regarding his secondary gender, but we have an accumulation of behaviour and evidence we think will help us track down the solution to the mystery!

For starters: his looks. Let’s be frank, Yuri Plisetsky looks like the picture book Omega straight from every Alpha’s rutty imagination. His pretty face, his big eyes with a colour we don’t even dare to try and describe! And legs that end in an ass that can only be described as: Oh, Damn!

Next point: his behaviour. If his looks are picture-book-omega, his behaviour is  right from the invisible pamphlet of how-to-alpha. Aside from his foul mouth and his constant ready-to-fight aura, his body language has been analysed by psychology students currently in his PhD program in this Tumblr post with the conclusion: his body language is so thoroughly alpha, which is actual impossible to fake on such an instinctual level.

Third: his smell. Many reporters and sources have claimed that he constantly smells like a Beta. We also have photographic evidence where he’s using Beta’s Glacier from Axe, the #1 product for scent masking spray currently on the market.

The third point could be a trap, through (insert General Akbar It’s a trap here!). Many athletes in non-impact sports are known for masking their scents during competition due to good sportsmanship. So he could be either Alpha or Omega following the protocol or even a Beta, blending right in like other known beta figure skaters such as Emil Nekola (β).

(Click HERE for our article about Nekola being in a pack relationship with the Crispino Twins!)

Yuri Plisetsky’s very contradictory. He’s been to Galas in full ballroom dresses (Here at the Olympic After Party and here last year after Skate France), a typical omegan fashion, and then again, just literally one day later he’s spotted at a charity auction for the WWF (conservation of the Siberian Tiger, another heart project for the skater that’s now nicknamed The Russian Ice Tiger. Donations in Yuri’s name are possible if you follow this link) wearing a suit from Russian designer Dmitry Lobov (β) that was influenced by Russian imperial army uniforms for Alpha officials! And boy was he rocking that! He left panties dropping left and right wherever he went! But where does this leave us?

Oh, and if you’re interested, we found this blog that lists all of Yuri’s … more interesting fashion choices. Be it omegan, alpha or his weird animal print mix in between.

As an athlete he has a natural competitive nature, which can be seen in his rivalry to not only Japan’s Katsuki, but also Canada’s JJ Leroy (especially him, mind that) and in a far less hostile manner, Kazakhstan’s Otabek Altin.

Which brings us right to the next hot topic: his casual friendship with said Hero of Kazakhstan (please, for the love of god, read our article about how the Hero of Kazakhstan stole the Fairy of Russia!).

Otabek Altin is an Alpha and he was never known to date anybody since he’d started skating professionally. That and that he appears to be the only other person Yuri can stand on a personal level makes us thinking that maybe we have a matching pair here with Omega Yuri?

The possibility of a gay relationship is rather slim, since Otabek was one of the few skaters that had declined the invitation to the infamous Katuski-Nikiforov wedding. That and his Muslim heritage paints the picture of a rather conservative thinking Alpha.

Then again we have seen Plisetsky interacting with Japan’s #2 in Figure Skating Minami Kenjirou (Ω) in a manner that can only be described as courting during their shared summer training in Hasetsu. The source for this juicy material is the Twitter account @ **sukeota3sisters** who claims to have a personal connection to both skaters.

So all in all our conclusion is: we have no clue!

Yuri Plisetsky, the man, the skater, the Mystery.

We can only hope that the upcoming season will provide us for further evidence in either direction!

If you don’t want to wait, you can click HERE for a compilation of Yuri harassing reporters to bridge you over!

_(This article is sponsored by product placement)_

 

 

\--

 

 

“Product placement, my ass” Yuri muttered darkly and threw his phone onto the comforter of his hotel bed.

“Are you reading trashy articles again?”

“It’s a morbid curiosity, mostly,“ Yuri said haughtily, “they posted a compilation of me harassing reporters at the end, even though it’s actually the other way round. But we all know victim shaming, right?”

Otabek did his little smirk, with the right eyebrow lift and the right corner of his mouth migrating upwards. It made Yuri lightheaded every time he witnessed it.

“Well, then they have one more piece to add after today.”

Yuri only groaned in agony. “Please, don’t remind me!”

It had been a gruelling season so far, Yuri, currently just some weeks shy after his 19th birthday, and all of the skaters, were somewhat looking forward towards Worlds and the end of the season. They were in Nagano for this year’s 4CC’s, Yuri didn’t have to attend per se, but with Katsudon and Victor going, he had enough excuses to finally meet his closest friend again. Yuri had to begrudgingly admit that the article had put it kind of fitting: Otabek was really the only person he could stand outside of his inner circle.

Well, scratch that. Otabek was the only person he could really stand. Fullstop.

Dedushka didn’t count, because the man practically raised him after his mother had passed away after an unhealthy hug from an incoming truck when he was barely 6 years old. She’d been a Beta, coming back from a country fair, still slightly drunk in the early hours of the morning after some nice tête-à-tête with the local young folk. In her defence, she wasn’t the only person who got pregnant that night because nobody could’ve foreseen that handing out condoms _stapled_ to a pamphlet about safe sex, was the unwritten code for disaster: aka, unplanned pregnancy.

Despite never knowing who his father was (or maybe his second mother; there had been quite some female Alphas in the age group that would fit) Yuri clearly remembered how his childhood had been filled with love and warmth and the harsh coldness that followed after. Coldness that resulted in hate and anger; his overwhelmed grandfather had hoped that enlisting him in the small junior’s hockey team might help him to put off some steam. Instead he was pulled to the side of his second training by one of the figure skating coaches because of his fluid and natural movements, and lo and behold, he was scouted and shipped to St. Petersburg at the age of 11 to train under the famous Yakov Feltsman.

During this season, only Worlds was waiting for him as a real competition, and he was eager to get it behind him as well. That, and of course the 4C’s; he was actually happy to not have to skate here. That was until Japanese customs soured it at their arrival at Nagoya International Airport. Japan was one of the few countries that still had a secret register of the secondary genders of their population. The government stated excuses like science and the possibility to uphold the tradition of arranging marriages for the register. Every tourist was asked upon arrival by the border control, though what nobody really knew was that you had the right to refuse an answer as a citizen of a foreign country. Of course the border control tried to coax you to an answer, but your rights remained and from the look of it, the officers were all but pleased when a blond foreigner pointed them towards this fact in vicious Japanese.

Yuri knew about his rights for every country he’d travelled to and some of the other skaters had adopted to do so too. Some to stand with him, some just to cause havoc. From all of his rivals he’d never thought he’d find a partner in Jean-Jacques Leroy. The Canadian Alpha used his fame as an athlete and as a singer to promote the image that Alphas could be soft, caring, and nurturing,  and not automatically be seen as weak. One of the key moments was when JJ told Yuri a story from his childhood at a banquet where they were seated together.

“I’d won gold at a local competition, I think I was about 9 or so, and Mama took me to a Toys’R’Us so I could pick any toy I wanted as my personal prize. The trophy went to the rink, that’s why. Well, we’d just read the story about the Holy Family in our Sunday bible school, and I was thinking about getting a doll so I could practice being a good father and Alpha to the pup my wife would gift me in the future. But the salesman had different opinions. I think he was an Omega, and that only shows how deep rooted such thinking is. He said to me something like ‘well, young man, that’s something for girls and Omegas, right? Don’t you want to have something like this truck? That’s a toy for a strong Alpha boy, right?’ or something down those lines. And you can’t imagine how that threw me off that line! How can caring for your child be seen as weak!? It really had meddled with my 9-year old brain.”

JJ had gone through a lot after that; the confusion of his teenage years, the toxic Alpha behaviour after his presentation and the downfall after his realisation of his own actions. He told Yuri the same evening that he liked being an Alpha, but sometimes wished he’d been born a beta. As much as the general opinion wanted to ignore it, gender was a spectrum. While 5% of the male Beta’s could get pregnant as well  as 7.2% of the female’s could impregnate a partner, they all had the ability to act according to their standing. They could imitate soothing and supportive scents in the presence of an Alpha and on the other hand could dominate a Omega fairly easily. Of course none of their scents were particularly strong and they weren’t that influenced from them like other dynamics, but they had their role and it was a damn important one. JJ simply wished he could be free of the judging expectations that hung over his natural instincts like a Damocles’ sword, hence the standing with Yuri’s fight to retain his privacy. Yuri couldn’t be more flabbergasted to have JJ in his corner as his biggest supporter.

Next to JJ, of course Otabek had taken up to refuse a statement of his official dynamics status. Yuuri Katsuki didn’t have the luxury to refuse, but Victor used all his charm and stated with a big fat smile how they all refused to make a statement. His usual radiating self confused the border officers enough to just wave the whole skating delegation through.

Yuri had been in a grumbly mood after that. The delegation of Japan’s Star Skater was scheduled for an interview at the rink first before they would settle in the hotel.  A horde of reporters had already gathered at the rink and even though most of them focused on the actual competing athletes, Yuri suddenly found himself cornered by a Japanese reporter who asked in perfect oxford English “Yuri Plisetsky, it was stated you’ve refused to make a statement upon your dynamics when you entered Japanese ground. Yet you’re here in support of your teammates and rivals. Is this a statement of your secondary gender as an Omega? To support and to stand back for the sake of your Alpha team mates?”

Yuri’s face darkened and Otabek felt himself getting cautious. This wasn’t by far the first reporter trying to compel Yuri into an answer, but his wording was one of the more impertinent ones.

Suddenly though, Yuri’s face cleared, his scowl vanished, his eyes were bright and trusting, his look one of genuine pity. Otabek never knew how Yuri could switch from obvious Alpha behaviour to the picture of a profound Omega in a matter of seconds.

Otabek steeled himself and tried to hide his grin with a cough. Here it comes. A classic Plisetsky.

“Oh, no! You poor, poor man!” Yuri’s voice was soft and pliant, the little husk in it only sounded small and caring. The voice of an Omega straight out of a movie. The reporter took a step back in his confusion over the sudden behaviour switch, but Yuri was fast to follow and suddenly was up close to the man’s personal space. He also appeared to be smaller, more non-threatening in comparison to the reporter. That trick was one Otabek knew about. Thanks to his tremendous body control due to years and years of ballet and figure skating Yuri could form his posture into his desired height. Otabek had seen him ‘growing’ about 20 centimetres just by the change of his posture.

“Does your family know?”

“K-k-know what?” The reporter was clearly torn and more than confused.

“About your hearing loss?” Now Yuri put a comforting hand on his upper arm and put his lush pink lips in an irresistible pout.

“H-h-hearing loss?”

“Or is it even neural damage?”

“I-I … what?” By now they were the centre of attention and several cameras were aimed at them.

“Because your brain must be damaged, if you can’t even get the simplest of all messages right, right?”

The reporter gaped like a stranded fish, his mind addled with the beautiful picture of an Omega in front of him.

“Because why else would you ask questions that you already know the answers?” the low growl in his voice appeared like a crack in the image of the dreamlike Omega and Yuri’s voice only continued to darken as much as his figure grew until he was towering over the smaller Japanese man.

“Because why else would you degenerated fucker ask me about my dynamics if you know clearly that it’s not your fucking place to ask. You dumb twerk! I know my rights. Just because you have the expectation of me finally telling you what’s between my legs, I don’t have to live up to them! Just so you know: this is none of your goddamn business. Did I make myself clear?”

Yuri flipped his hair haughtily over his shoulder and stood his ground, the snickering that followed from the onlookers was enough for the shamed reporter to flee the scene. Yuri raised a challenging eyebrow at the remaining reporters, but they all got the message and didn’t pester him further.

 

 

\--

 

 

“You think he’d get a fine for asking invasive questions, but no, it’s me that gets a warning from the rink,” Yuri huffed and stretched out further on the bed of their shared hotel room.

“The world’s a shitty place,” Otabek quoted him from the bathroom as he arranged his competition toiletries on the counter.

“Damn right it is!” Yuri crowed back. “Ah, by the way, the article also painted you as a traditional Alpha who frowns upon gay marriage.”

“Why would they do that?” Otabek asked still busy and not clearly listening.

“Because you weren’t at the idiot couples wedding.”

At this Otabek suddenly emerged from the white tiled room. “For heaven’s sake, my baby brother was giving birth to twins after his coward boyfriend bolted and he needed every Alpha at his side!”

“Which leaves the question: what is better? You as an conservative Alpha or Serik’s story going public?”

“If it helps protecting my brother they can write that I eat kittens for all I care!”

“Beka! That’s unfair! Not the kittens!”

“You called this upon yourself!”

“Pfshrt!” Yuri blew a raspberry, ”you are a great brother, you know that? Risking my wrath to protect Serik-chan.”

Otabek remained silent at this and after a minute Yuri had to call out to him. “Beka?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?

“For… for saying I’m a good brother… and not… not a good Alpha.”

“Well, yeah, of course! Protecting somebody isn’t an exclusive Alpha thing, you know?” Yuri scooted to the right to make room and turned towards Otabek, noting how his friend had shed his traveling gear and was now curled up in his pyjamas.

“Beka?”

“Hm?”

“Is everything ok?” Yuri raked his nails through Otabek’s undercut and was delighted how blissful his friends face got upon the treatment. But then his words kind of went through and he tensed up.

“What should be wrong?” he asked and Yuri recognized his tone as forcefully neutral. Otabek’s defences were up and he didn’t know why. Trying not to be offended he continued to massage Otabek’s scalp before he evaluated his words carefully.

“You’re usually not this snuggly during a competition, I’m just wondering if I can do something if you feel off?” It probably was the right choice of words because Otabek didn’t tense up further but actually looked calculatingly up at his friend.

“Yura, I can trust you, right?”

“Of course?”

“And if I’d ask you to tell me what kind of dynamics you are, would you tell me?” Now it was Yuri’s turn to tense up, the movement in his fingers stilling momentarily. He blinked for a second, then gave a little chuckle and went back to his petting.

“I trust you not to ask out of curiosity. I trust you enough to value my wishes, but in the case of you really asking, I’d also trust you enough that you’d only ask out of real valid reasons?”

This time Otabek’s smile had more substance and he reached out to gently lay his hands on Yuri’s knee. He looked as if he’d made peace with something.

“Thank you, Yura. You know, I envy you. Sometimes I wished I could be like you.”

“Huh? Where did that come from?” Genuine puzzlement was written on his features.

“My coach back in Montreal thought it a wise move to announce that I’ve had my first rut at 15 therefor stating that I was an Alpha. He thought it would intimidate my competition at my last junior’s year and maybe leaving a certain impression for the judges. But I hated it. I felt like his actions had branded me with an invisible curse and suddenly everybody was expecting certain things of me or shamed me when I didn’t live up to them. Yeah?” Otabek asked as Yuri silently opened his mouth to say something.

“Beka,” Yuri looked as he had to hold back a lot of things he wanted to say, “I’m so sorry this has happened to you. This is precisely the reason I keep it under wraps. Because I fear that label. That people automatically think of me as weak and applicable if I’d be an Omega, or that I’m boring by default if I’m Beta or that my wins are nothing special since I’m an Alpha anyway…”

“Yura!” Otabek interrupted his speech and sat up, concern in his eyes. “You sad weak and… applicable? Did… did something happen?” Yuri opened his mouth to furiously deny the sheer possibility of him being in a vulnerable state, but stopped himself in time. This was Beka. His best friend and maybe more and the one person whom he truly believed when he said  “ABO? Why should I care about that?”. He took a deep breath instead.

“No… but… it was a close call. You remember what I looked like? In Barcelona?”

“How could I forget?”

“You sap. No, I mean, I get it why people were adamant about me presenting as an Omega. But I was never really sure. My mother didn’t know the dynamic of whoever got her pregnant with me and in my family we’ve always had a wild mix of dynamics so you couldn’t really do Mendel’s Math, right? But apparently other people thought it was a given that with my slender frame and blond hair, that I had to be an Omega. My wild nature was only because ‘somebody hadn’t shown me my place yet’.”

“Yura-“ Otabek took his hand in his, but Yuri wasn’t finished yet.

“What I tell you now, must never leave this room. I hope it will never be to your disadvantage, but I trust you enough to… I don’t know… act surprised if it comes out?”

“My lips are sealed, Yuriyim.”

Yuri gifted him a small gently smile at the nickname, yet his face fell again. “When I was 15 and had beaten Victor at Nationals, one of the Russian ISU officials approached Yakov and offered him an enormous sum to spend my presentation heat with me.” Otabek’s gasp filled the room. “It was 2016 and an old man thought he had the right to pay for sex with a minor just because he deemed… _it_ an Omega”

“Yura, Yura!” Otabek murmured and first nuzzled his hair and then put his head on Yuri’s lap, showing submission and comfort in the gentlest way.

Yuri had a forlorn look on his face as he continued the story. “Yakov of course had refused. I think he had allowed it once in his career, like 20 years ago, because it was much more custom back then. Lilia had dropped enough hints for me to gather that much. But it had broken that skater and he’d never made it past juniors. So Yakov wasn’t to repeat his previous mistake, I cling to the hope that he did it because he cared for me and not because he feared the shit storm that would follow if word ever got out. Well, like I said, he refused the official, stating that he wasn’t sure if I’d present as an Omega at all. But the official wasn’t swayed; he pressured Yakov all season, making his work and that of all of us a living hell. When I finally presented in Hasetsu during the off season he still refused to give the guy a clear answer. Because even my coach back then didn’t know and couldn’t force me to share classified medical information with him. Yet the guy kept on pressuring and pressuring! Can you believe it? That Alpha dickhead didn’t get what he wanted but he still wanted to… to… to buy me! For breeding! For ensuring the next, hopefully Alpha, generation of Russia’s figure skating! Like I’m some sort of animal!”

“Yura! Shhh, it’s ok, you’re here, you’re safe. He didn’t get you!” Otabek had cupped his face gently in his hands, using his soft fingers to wipe away some stray tears.

“This is when Yakov drew the line. He had enough evidence from emails and recorded phone calls that he had the guy in his hand. But he didn’t come out of it unscathed. I could feel how he’d started to resent me for all the trouble I was causing. This is when Victor stepped in and Yakov retired.”

“How are things with him now?”

“Better, actually, we haven’t spoken in nearly half a year after the debacle and suddenly he calls out of the blue and tells me to bitch more about flute arrangements, because Lilia and Victor had to see that my presentation points suffered a great deal under music I despise. _Oh, and Yuratchka, watch that damn free leg of yours. Not wobbling in just 80% of the cases doesn’t bring you gold!_ We talk after every competition. Lilia hates it but Victor is delighted.”

“Thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me, Yuriyim.”

“Idiot, it’s not… ah, it’s not like anything bad happened. I got out of it stronger.”

“Yes, but it did affect you.” It was then that Yuri noticed how Otabek was still laying on his lap, now presenting his vulnerable belly and throat to him. Not quite the typical Alpha behaviour. More like typical Omega, trying to sooth distress by making himself small and trustworthy.

“May I… may I repay your trust? And tell you some secrets of mine?” This time Yuri had to scoff at the pleading look Otabek sent him.

“This is not a business deal, Beshka, this doesn’t go secret for a secret. You’re… important to me. My best friend. And I noticed from the moment you stepped in this bed that you wanted to tell me something. So spill.”

“Last week I had my rut.”

“Ok?” Yuri was clearly at a loss what to do with such information. A rut took a lot of energy out of an Alpha, usually most Alpha skaters tried to suppress them and time them for just after Worlds. The aggressiveness coming with it was rather helpful for the last competition of the season.

“My suppressant failed, but actually it was my own fault. I haven’t taken the antibiotics into account that I took because of an ear infection. I can be lucky it just happened before this weekend and not bleeding into the competition. Coach got me a rut stopper just in time.”

Yuri nodded for him to continue and Otabek took a deep breath as if bracing himself for something horrible.

“I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself more than during that rut.”

“Wha-? Beshka!” Now it was Yuri’s turn to make himself as small and as comforting as possible. Thanks to his flexibility he curled around Otabek’s head , laying down with him on the fluffy mattress. “Why would you hate yourself?” he whispered close to his friend’s ear.

“Did you believe me?”

“Believe what?”

“Did you believe me, when I told you I’m not interested in your dynamic? Like really believing?”

“Not at first,” Yuri admitted. “But I was very scared and confused and then you just never really asked and I grew to trust you. So yes, nowadays I buy it.”

“Because… because I’m really not interested in dynamics. I … I don’t know… I… “

“Beka, shhh, it’s ok. Take your time. You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

Otabek threw him an offended look as if to say ‘but I want to!’ Instead he took some calming breaths and buried his face in the crook of Yuri’s neck, inhaling his artificial beta scent deeply.

“I’ve hated myself because my body reminded me constantly that I’m an Alpha,” he finally muttered into the fabric of Yuri’s shirt.

“And you don’t want to be an Alpha?” Yuri asked after several beats of silence.

“Yes… no… sometimes…” It took everything out of him not to nudge Otabek to elaborate further. Yuri wasn’t one for uncomfortable silences. And usually any silence shared with Otabek was far from uncomfortable. He squirmed and bit his bottom lip but hesitantly brought his hand back up and started to caress Otabek’s undercut again.

“Sometimes it’s okay. When Serik was pregnant and had nobody to return to, I was glad to be an Alpha, to protect him. There are days when I’m at ease with myself. But… but most of the time I despise it. I try to drown it out, I try to forget it, but every time somebody acts or says something that reminds me what I actually am… it’s like I’m too big for my skin. I feel like ripping on the edges, like I’m suffocating where I stand.

When everything gets too much and when I can I lock myself up and then… then I pretend… to be an … an… Omega,” Otabek shuddered and tried to crawl into the sheets as if he’d just said the most offending and shameful thing he could think of. And maybe for him it was just that.

“What do you do, when everything’s too much?” Yuri was still whispering, afraid to scare or frighten the fragile thing next to him.

“…I … I once bought a skirt… online… and I stole one of the maternity bras off Serik. Can you believe how abominable I am? Stealing from my little brother!”

“You’re not abominable, Otabek!”

“But I am! Can’t you see it? Sometimes my urge to nurture and to care gets so strong that I’m hoarding the cat all day and pretending it’s my child!”

“Beshka, please, none of this is despicable. What could be wrong in caring? What’s wrong with caring for yourself?” Otabek had jumped up in agitation and now Yuri tried to placate him with a soothing voice. In moments like these he regretted that he had to practically lobotomize his scent with the heavy blockers he took, because a calming scent would’ve been helpful right now.

Otabek looked down at Yuri’s soothing and submissive behaviour and the uncharacteristic image was enough that all fight left him and he sunk back down, but it was clear he didn’t believe Yuri one bit.

“Please. You’re not finished, aren’t you? I’ll listen if you want to continue” Yuri was out of his depth, but he’d learned something from Katsuki’s anxiety attacks; that yelling was not the go-to way in this case. Otabek merely huffed and remained silent for a longer time.

“There are days when I feel like a Beta. Smells don’t affect me as strongly and I neither have the overbearing urge to protect or to nurture. But then there are days where I feel like I’m nothing and I can’t honestly decide if these days are the worst or the best…”

“Beka, do you want to tell me you’re-?”

“There are many words that would describe, what I am. But how can I decide on how I identify if it changes every fucking day?.”

They remained silent after this again. Yuri still caressing Otabek, mulling over every piece of information he got in the last ten minutes. Otabek trembling from time to time, snuggling deeper into his friends embrace.

“So this behaviour right now… is to counter… Please tell me when I’m wrong … your rut?”

Otabek tensed and wanted to withdraw, but Yuri’s arms were surprisingly strong for being so thin. He held Otabek close and with a sigh he settled back against Yuri.

“Kind of…? I don’t know… right now… it just feels right?”

“Then we’ll stay like this.” Yuri stated with a confidence he didn’t feel.

“This is also the reason I’m envious. I know you don’t have it easy, I really really know. But you’re not labelled; you can be what you want to be. I saw it today. You switched from Beta to Omega to Alpha in like two minutes! And it was glorious, Yura!”

Yuri snorted in amusement. “I’m glad to contribute to your enjoyment.”

“I’m serious though.”

“I know… uhm… Beka? Since we’re here throwing around our deepest darkest feelings around like confetti…”

“That’s a very nice comparison, Yura.”

“Shut up! … please… uhm let me talk… isn’t … isn’t me being a blank slate for you… at least until now… can’t it be good for you?”

“… what do you mean?” Yuri could sense again the careful neutrality in Otabek’s tone.

“I’m tired of us dancing around each other, Beshka. I always… I mean, yeah, it was shit of me to assume, but can you blame me? I always assumed you wouldn’t be interested in me, because I’m no Omega.”

“Uhm… gimme a sec here…” Otabek turned his gaze towards the ceiling and as much as he hated it, Yuri gave him his time, though he fidgeted through every second of it. “I can see why you would assume so… such behaviour is hard to unlearn. But I can see where this is coming from, because I never thought you’d accept me as the train wreck that I am as your… partner…”

“So… we both never really made a move towards each other, because we both thought the other wouldn’t be interested because of the clusterfuck we both are?”

“Seems like it.”

“Wow,” Yuri turned his head towards Otabek, who mimicked him. “We’re really really dumb.”

They held it for about ten seconds before they both burst out laughing.

“So. Are you going to be my boyfriend or not?” Yuri asked with a grin.

“That’s my line!” Otabek protested and feared his smile would split his face in half.

“Didn’t we just decide that norms don’t do for us?”

“Yeah…” Otabek’s smile grew gentler, “so we’re going to do this? And it doesn’t bother you that I’m… like this?”

Yuri turned so he was laying on his side, gently cupping Otabek’s face. “One day you’ll find out what I am. Actually I think I should just tell you and be done with it. I’ve never let gender or norms define me. But for you I want to be everything.”

Their lips met and for the first time in a long time Otabek felt complete again.

“You don’t have to. You just have to be Yuri.”

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo... I'd be delightet if you would leave me a comment and tell me what you think about it!  
> After all, it's really the first time ever I wrote about dynamics and I really enjoyed it to finally participate in one of my favourite corners of fandom!


End file.
